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I’ve spent a lot of time this past year, and most recently the last couple of months, examining my relationship with alcohol and how it makes me feel physically. I enjoy the taste of wine, especially with dinner, but to what end? One glass doesn’t seem to be enough…more than that starts down a slippery slope. I don’t necessarily enjoy the feeling of being “buzzed” though I do like how I “seem” to feel less stressed.
What I have discovered in a few periods of sobriety over the past year is that the feeling of being less stressed when drinking wine is an illusion or an “instant gratification” of sorts. If I’m looking for a quick fix without any care of how I sleep that night or feel the following day, then yes, wine helps me feel less stressed. However, the quality of sleep is poor and the increase in anxiety I feel the following day is a legit concern. Those things don’t necessarily get in the way of my living my daily life, BUT seeing how much better I feel when I don’t have wine at night is eye-opening and worth exploring. I don’t consider myself to be an alcoholic or someone who has a problem with alcohol, but I have certainly been underestimating the effects of drinking a glass or two of wine nightly.
After my last “dry” stint of 32 days I noticed the following:
I mean…who doesn’t want all of that?
When the week of Thanksgiving arrived I had some wine over the period of a week. To be exact, 6 out of 7 days. Did it taste good? Yes. Is it how my mother (and other family and friends) bond? Yes. Does it have to be that way? No.
A huge part of this is habit. The most successful way to change a habit you’d like to get rid of is to start implementing a new habit in the place of the one you’d like to stop as well as the desire and decision to change.
Do I want to stop drinking wine? It really depends on the day you ask me…lol. That being said, I do like the benefits I feel from not drinking, especially the longer I abstain. The longer I went without wine, the better I felt. I hear the magic number is 60 days, which I have yet to reach, but it is on my radar as I’m now 5 days into my next exploration of sobriety.
I’m currently reading a book called, “I’m Tired of Thinking About Drinking” by Belle Robertson and it really resonates with me. The description is what caught my eye…
“If you know that you’re drinking too much, then this book is for you. If you wake in the morning, plan to quit, and then by 6 pm you’re drinking again, then this book is for you.”
Belle’s book includes a 100-Day Sober Challenge and I think that’s where I’m headed. I’m not saying that I quit drinking forever, I just feel like I need to explore sobriety some more and see where that takes me.
If this is something that speaks to you and you’d like to join me, comment below or feel free to send me a DM if you’d like to keep it on the down-low.